To See Through My Eyes
by Starlight Sanctuary
Summary: I never told Tidus my true reasons for agreeing to marry Seymour - I never told anyone my true motives. To see through my eyes and experience what I had experienced, only then would anyone be capable of understanding.


**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN FFX. (kind of obvious. One of these days, I'd like to see an author write a fanfiction about their own story xD)**

Summary: I never told Tidus my true reasons for agreeing to marry Seymour -I never told anyone my true motives. To see through my eyes and experience what I had experienced, only then would anyone be capable of understanding.

To See Through My Eyes

As I sat happily in my garden, I couldn't help but think back to that day in Macalania Temple. It seemed like a daze, even now, as I begin to focus on it. No one could deny the passion in those eyes - his ardent, violet eyes. I never told Tidus my true reasons for agreeing to marry Seymour -I never told anyone my true motives. To see through my eyes and experience what I had experienced, only then would anyone be capable of understanding.

"Yuna, tell me why, even though you know me to be a cold-blooded murderer, did you accept my proposal?" The blue-haired man stared with disbelief at me. Often, I wondered why he had ever asked, "How can you even so much as look at me without sneering in disgust?"

I was immensely timid in those days. So much so, that often it was difficult for me to voice my opinions. I looked up at the Maester, at the man who captured my heart without so much as a warning. How could I have fallen for him, being the murderer he was? "W-who am I to judge a person by how they appear? Hasn't Yevon taught us that only through sheer compassion and love for one another, can we vanquish sin with the atonements of our sins?" I bit my lip; I felt so terribly out of place, "Maester, I accepted your proposal to bring happiness to my people." Now that I look back, I realized that I had told him a lie. It was not to make others happy, it was for me. It was because I knew there was more to him than what the outer shell led most to believe. There was something about his twisted nature that touched my heart. I wanted to save him, because he had saved me.

"I am saddened that that is your only reason," Seymour muttered as we walked through the temple. As we passed through the empty hallways, I could feel his eyes on me, watching my every move. My heart ached. Back then, I believed the reason for my heartache was because of my 'longing' for Tidus. When we reached the end of the empty hallway, I could hear very soft voices coming from the main hallway. "Come, we shall enter the cloisters together. Are you ready, my love?" his smooth, tenor voice rung in my ears. _My love_. Those two words played in my head like a broken record.

I paused, startled by the two simple words. After receiving a worried look, I quickly replied, "Y-yes, my lord," after receiving another look, I couldn't help but ask, "Is something wrong, my lord?"

"Yuna, please, enough with the formalities. I can smell your inner turmoil. Confide in me what is plaguing your mind. I only wish to solace your worries," his voice was so soothing. I looked up at him, my eyes and cheeks red, as I felt emotion well up inside the pit of my stomach. What is happening to me? As a Summoner, I had learned and mastered the art of concealing my emotions, however, the emotions I was feeling were too strong to ignore. I looked up to his face and immediately I was caught in his gaze. I bit my lip, trying not to let my emotions get the better of me. "Yuna, you need not worry. Confide in me. Unburden yourself," he took a step closer. As he did so, I felt my knees become weak.

I tried to regain my composure, however, I began to lose my balance. My knees gave in and I began to fall. Seymour caught me and pulled me into his arms. As he held me, I felt a sudden warmth overcome my body. I erupted into a sob. I could feel everything slipping through my fingers. I had built myself up to be so strong and happy, but now everything seemed to be tumbling at my feet. Suddenly, my resolve had wavered; it weakened. I felt Seymour begin to stroke my hair and as he did so, he leaned his face close to my ear and whispered, "I will always protect and love you," something about his words rang with the quintessence of truth. He continued, "From the moment I saw you in Luca, I knew you were the one. I will bestow upon you the love I never had."

I felt my heart clench, a lump formed in my throat. He pulled back from my ear and locked gazes with me once more. It was then that I saw it - the passion in his eyes. His eyes told so many stories. I had heard of the riots that had broke out about Seymour as a child. Often, I wondered how much it had taken a toll on his mentality. The stories about Guadosalam a decade earlier made the forests in Kilika seem like a nice place to camp out unarmed. As I looked at him, I made a mental note of all his features. The way his hair falls in his eyes, the way the veins near his temples changed colors when his mood drastically changed, the way his voice sounds when he wants to comfort a person. The list goes on and on. He was a beautiful person with a beautiful heart. _His ideals are warped, but does that mean he too must be deprived of what everyone deserves (love)?_ It was then I realized, I loved this man. No matter how much I fought the idea, I knew that it was true. My heart raced, I knew he would be able to smell my change in sentiment. I was always formal, very refined, however, I thought my timorous behavior spawned from my fear of Seymour. If this was love, then what did I feel for Tidus?

The look in his eyes changed, lightened almost. He seemed to inch forward very slowly, almost as if he was waiting for a sign of approval. My lip quivered slightly, but I couldn't avert my gaze. Where was the strong, yet timid Yuna?

The moment I felt our noses touch, my train of thought ceased. I broke free of his gaze and found myself looking at his lips with the utmost want. I wanted this. Not even my want to free Spira from Sin was as powerful as the flame that filled my body. The moment our lips touched, I felt the flame inside of me intensify. I pulled him tightly against me and kissed him passionately. I felt him wrap his long arms around my slender body in response. My entire body felt as if it were burning. I couldn't understand this sensation. How can a feeling this intense be real?

I heard quick, loud steps in the distance, coming closer to where we stood. Seymour pulled away suddenly. The colorful veins near his temples had turned a bright pink and purple color. I looked down and completely away. Soon afterwards, we proceeded into the cloister of trials.

This memory is the only happy memory I have left of him now. I tried to free him from his pain, by helping him to see there is more to life than the spiral of death, but to no avail. There are many things I never told my friends and family. I never told Tidus that I could never love him, because my heart belonged to another. How could I ever love Tidus? He was only a dream. A dream of the Fayth. When I look upon it now, I wonder if it would have been better to die with my love, end my false hope and suffering, or live and try to fight the pain

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><p>Starlight Sanctuary: Hello everyone! In this fic, I was hoping to portray the story through thought and description, rather than dialogue. I know there are probably a million grammatical errors in this, but I would like to hear your opinions on this fic. Any helpful advice would be wonderful for any future reference. I love criticism. Thanks for reading. Much love!<p> 


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